What was to be a fun and relaxing non-working day turned out to be a day of mourning for us. We did sleep in, had our coffee and read the paper in silence. Brian washed Lily's placemat and rinsed out her bowls and put them in the basement. I was not prepared for that. Nor am I prepared to call the vet and tell them and see if I can return the rest of her medicines or give away her pill pockets.
We decided to go out shopping and do some errands to break up the day. We spent about 4 hours shopping for things for my cooking class and looking at stuff, etc.
We decided to hang some pictures in the dining room and the whole time we did no one wanted outside, it's amazing how much time it takes to let a dog in and out all the time, especially Lily taking Lasik she went out a lot as of late.
I made a nice dinner that evening and I really missed having Lily in her bed watching me or next to me or in my way underfoot while I was preparing dinner. No little dog to go in and out to sniff at the grill or sit by us while we ate. I turned on the television to fill the silence.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The day after
After very little sleep, we awoke Sunday morning to get ready for church. Lily had not been sleeping with us most of the night's so getting up in the morning has not been as tough.
We quietly went downstairs, Brian has removed the gates to the hallway and dining room and I had removed her bed. It was very foreign to not see those things that were a fixture in our home. The silence that morning was deafening, no dog to let out, no gate to put up when we left, no puppy pad mess to clean up, no one to say goodbye to....
We shed more tears off and on that morning and were very sad as Brian did not have an egg to make that morning after church. His Sunday ritual was making 1 scrambled egg for Miss Lily every sunday after church since we had moved to Ohio.
Fortunately, we had made plans to go to Kent that day, Brian for his Fantasy football draft and I to meet up with my friend Wendy. We killed as much time as we could and still arrived home around 7:30pm to no sniffing dog at the door and a quiet house.
We quietly went downstairs, Brian has removed the gates to the hallway and dining room and I had removed her bed. It was very foreign to not see those things that were a fixture in our home. The silence that morning was deafening, no dog to let out, no gate to put up when we left, no puppy pad mess to clean up, no one to say goodbye to....
We shed more tears off and on that morning and were very sad as Brian did not have an egg to make that morning after church. His Sunday ritual was making 1 scrambled egg for Miss Lily every sunday after church since we had moved to Ohio.
Fortunately, we had made plans to go to Kent that day, Brian for his Fantasy football draft and I to meet up with my friend Wendy. We killed as much time as we could and still arrived home around 7:30pm to no sniffing dog at the door and a quiet house.
The first night
After we agreed to the DNR for Lily, which was the stark reality she may not make it, we went back to see her before leaving her for treatment at the ER. She was laboring to breathe and helpless in the little neonatal incubator with oxygen. We sobbed and cried all the way home hoping she would pull out of this.
About 45 minutes to an hour after arriving home, the ER vet called, she started coughing and her heart just couldn't take it anymore, she was gone.
Sleeping was difficult, there was a lot of crying and sobbing. Brian woke at 3am as he usually did to take Lily outside. She wasn't there. I awoke not long afterwards to find him sitting at the computer posting on Facebook.
We decided we would feel better if we made arrangements for her, so we called and made the cremation arrangements, in fact we called back 4 times to fix, correct, or add to the order! We tried to go back to sleep, but it took awhile.
I could not bear to look at her bed in the kitchen so I tossed it down the basement stairs in anquish, not knowing what else to do in my sadness. Brian went down and quietly picked it up and put it away in the basement. We went back to bed and tossed around what to do with all of her things.
Finally, we fell asleep amidst tears and sadness.
About 45 minutes to an hour after arriving home, the ER vet called, she started coughing and her heart just couldn't take it anymore, she was gone.
Sleeping was difficult, there was a lot of crying and sobbing. Brian woke at 3am as he usually did to take Lily outside. She wasn't there. I awoke not long afterwards to find him sitting at the computer posting on Facebook.
We decided we would feel better if we made arrangements for her, so we called and made the cremation arrangements, in fact we called back 4 times to fix, correct, or add to the order! We tried to go back to sleep, but it took awhile.
I could not bear to look at her bed in the kitchen so I tossed it down the basement stairs in anquish, not knowing what else to do in my sadness. Brian went down and quietly picked it up and put it away in the basement. We went back to bed and tossed around what to do with all of her things.
Finally, we fell asleep amidst tears and sadness.
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